Chapter Sixty One

That night after talking to Madison, I slept real good considering all of the events that had taken place. Antonia's mom was gone and had joined her daughter in hospital, Madison was still my nurse and had agreed one day to be much more, now my next fight was my mom.

Looking at the clock on the night stand it was 8.30am, I moved and lifted myself outta bed, feeling exceptionally stiff and sore this morning I did the gentle exercises the Doc had shown me then sat for a few moments and repeated them. feeling looser I went in to the bathroom and took a shower and dressed, then headed down stairs.

I was in the kitchen making toast and coffee when my mom arrived, she tried coming through the back door and was stunned when it was locked.

I released the lock as she entered, "hey what's with the locks?"
"I had an unwanted visitor last night"
"Madison?"
"no mom, not Madison, Anotnia's mom..."
"really, you ok?" she immediately started checking me over, I took her hands, "I'm fine, fact is, Madison saved the situation..."
"She did how?"
"come with me..." taking my coffee I led the way to the west side of the house and the office, the shovel Madison had used was still sitting on the desk where I laid it. I pointed to it, "she used that"
my ma looked puzzled, "to do what, did a hole?"
"no, ma, she hit her over the head with it, knocked her out cold.."
my ma raised her eye brows in surprise... "maybe I need to give Madison a little more credit then.. but that still does not let you off the hook..."
I'm glad you brought that up, mom, sit down, there's stuff we need to sort..."
she placed her purse on the desk, and laid her coat on the chair as she sat on the couch. I took my seat next to her.
"thing is ma, D and me, well it aint been good for a long time..."
she held up her hand, "whoa just one god damn picking minute here... please don't tell me your gonna go hook up with that tart?"
"mom, please don't refer to Madison as a tart, ok?, and no, I'm not hooking up with her, now can you please hear me out before you comment?"
she glared at me, but shook her head in agreement.
"thanks, look the thing is, for the last few weeks I've had time to think, re evaluate my life, where its going, the kids, D, you pop, the band everything. being placed in this situation and going through what I have, well it kinda sorts out the brain."
she nodded in agreement, "Continue..."
"thing is ma, D has not bothered to call on me, or even phone to see if I'm ok, the time when I needed her the most, she has left me hanging alone. All's I've had is you and Matty, and Madison."
she raised her hand, can I say something?"
"Sure"
"but you told Matty to tell her to stay at her mom's, you didn't want anything to happen to her, or the kids, so you cant really say she don't care when you told her to stay away.."
"yeah, but she could have called ma, not one call, we talking five weeks here right, hell when she was stabbed, and I received that call saying she was dead I rushed to her side... ma time to face facts, D don't love your boy anymore... not like she used to.."
my ma looked a little uncomfortable, " look, I'm not prying, I'm trying to help, but you did have a good life before all this started right?, you know in the bedroom and stuff?"
"ma, please...."
"I'm sorry, but that's always the first thing to go, and that's what makes marriages crumble..."
"look ma, it aint about the sex, its about us not being a unit anymore, we just keep up with the charade for the kids..." I didn't want to tell my ma about the blackmail, but I had too.
"man this aint easy,"
"what aint?, talk to me?"
"ok, here goes.. a while back when all the shit about Antonia was on the tv, remember the story about my fathering a child in the uk?"
"OMG please tell me that aint true... that kid looked so much like you... you didn't?, did you?"
"no, I didn't, can you please quit interrupting, "
she shook her head and drew her fingers across her mouth as if to say she had zipped it up.
"the kid aint mine, one hundred percent, the kids matt's, but that his beef to tell you, anyways, D used that shadow to blackmail me, seems she aint been happy for a long time and wants me to quit my job, be a stay at home husband...."
I took a pause, "Ma, I cant do that... I am what I am, I'm Jon Bon Jovi, singing, music is my life, my career, I'd rather cut off my arm than not sing or tour anymore...I asked her how long she had felt like it, and she told me for the last ten years... Ma how can you feel that way and not tell someone?"
"D told you this... yeah after she tried to blackmail me..."
"the bitch.."
"don't mom, this aint easy ok?"
"so what are you saying to me? you are giving up on your wife, your marriage, your kids your home?, in favour of what? please don't tell me you want to start a relationship with... that...."
"mom, enough already... What I'm saying is, I need a vacation away from everything, where I can think and sort out all this crap in my head... I'm in the middle of a tour...but whatever I decide, I need you to know, it will be my decision, and whether you agree, like it or don't like it... you just stay silent and support me, can you do that?"
"But what if I no we think you have made a bad decision, don't we get to say anything?"
"no, you don't, I'm a grown man, with a family I think I can safely say I can call my own shots..."
"ok, you think you know best, but don't look to me or your pop if it all turns sour... you want us out, then out it will be..."
I looked at my ma, "if that's the way you wanna play it, then fine, but I thought instead of trying to control me, you'd give me the grace to make my decision without judgement?"
"no, you want me to agree to you and Madison, and son, that is something I'll never do. I'm sorry... go back on tour, take that mini vacation, but what all this comes down too is you wanting my blessing, for something I do not agree with. You are catholic Jon, you took marriage vows with D... no sir, you want out, I'm out too..."
I could not say another word, she picked up her coat and purse and left. I sat back resting on the couch, feeling sad and deflated, but adamant on what I was doing was right, for me.