My ma was really beginning to grate on my last nerve... my jaw was fixed and she knew I was about to let my Italian temper rear its head, twice in one day...
"ok, I'm sorry," she hung her head, your father has told me I gotta stop interfering in your life, and it was your pop who spoke to Lorraine," ... she paced as she spoke, "he was pretty pissed I can tell you"
"over the divorce," she stopped and looked at me, "no, because of Lorraine supporting you, and I'm just giving you a hard time..."
"right?, well pop never stops you normally, so what different this time..."
"he said we were through and he'd go share what happened to Antonia with the cops..."
I could not believe my ears, my mom was only being nice, cause my pop had told her too, with consequences if she didn't.
I shook my head, crossed my arms across my chest and walked around my mom with a sarcastic smile on my face... shaking my head
"you are god damn unbelievable..."
she watched turning her head to look at me as I paced around her. "Why dear? I've told you the truth.."
"yeah, only after pop made you?, couldn't you have done this on your own, you know, because your my mom and you wanna love and support me?" I stopped and used my arms in gesture to emphasize the point.
she hung her head,... "Jon, you know how pig headed I am, you take after me... If I think I'm right I say so and stick to my guns..." I started to pace again, "but you know how much I love you and support you, I'm your mother and your my eldest and first born... I'd do anything for you...Jon, please stop pacing, your making me dizzy..."
I stopped, and looked at the person stood in front of me, I couldn't take in what she had told me, and I couldn't believe she was my mom, it hurt to the pit of my stomach, that my pop was the real reason for her change in attitude, although underneath she still felt the same, that I was sure about.
Her lame excuse about looking out for me, meant in translation she was looking out for herself and wanting me to be the little boy of yesterday when she stood with me making me sing frank Sinatra songs with the hair brush in the mirror... the days when she controlled me. With a broken heart, I spoke to her, " mom, please leave, just stop now, enough already"
she moved across the floor to where I was stood, raising her hand to my face, I pushed her away... "no, not now ok, I need time..."
"for what dear.."
She still did not get the fact she had hurt me, as far as she was concerned, she'd told the truth and that was the end of it. to my mom maybe, to me, I needed space and time....
"just give me space ok, I'll speak with you in a few days maybe..."
she collected her things and edged to the door, turning back trying to make amends, "anything nice planned for you and Madison for this evening?"
I reached the door first, held out my hand for the key. "you want my key?" she looked amazed that I had asked for it.
I shook my head. she undid her purse and rummaged around until she had the key, then holding it in one hand she stoked it with the other, it was clear she was reluctant to let it go. impatiently I asked, "c'mon give it over ma.."
"but... I'm sorry...."
"the key?" she placed it in my palm and stepped over the step onto the drive, tears filled her eye's, as she walked but kept looking back, I just shook my head and closed the door. I'd had a gut full of melodrama for one day.
Madison came down the stairs, "you ok?"
I shook my head, "yeah, I'm good..." she walked over and put her arms around me, and I burrowed my head and nose into her hair and shoulders, and fought back the tears that were trying to flow. we stood together like that for what seemed like ages.... when we parted, we went into the sitting room and sat on the couch.
"Jon, I heard most of the discussion, with your mom, I really wasn't eaves dropping, you both are so loud...."
I looked at her and smiled, "yeah that's Italians for you..." using my best Italian new York accent, and my arms I gave her a taste. she threw back her head laughing.."that's priceless, you know if you voice breaks down, you could always turn to comedy... your Irish impression is spot on..."
"what... why I oughta..." she was laughing hard as I held her arms, then we paused and our lips met, and we kissed each other passionately, when we broke, I asked, "would you like to finish this upstairs?"
she smiled and shook her head. "yes please."
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