Satisfied with our turn of events, the cops had Antonia's mom taken away in an ambulance to hospital, a given seeing she never came round once while they were taking out statement, they also said now she had broken her bail, back to jail was her next stop once she was released from the medical staffs care.
I did suggest they throw away the key this time, but the cops failed to see the humour in it, one of them even suggested I stick to what I'm good at... singing... the nerve eh?, I suppose having a reserved character, humour is not always a given, anyways after the cops left, I was again, alone with Madison.
I looked at her bruises and cuts, "you know you should have agreed for the medics to check you over, those bruises are pretty bad..." I was looking at the one on her leg, which was a deep black and purple colour.
"Jon, are you serious, I'm a trained medical professional, and I've got my dad..."
"Oh, right, so you can just treat yourself huh?"
"stop teasing, no not everything, but I can treat myself, when I know what I'm looking at and for, and how I'm feeling, and apart from being a little sore, I am fine honestly..."
"Ok, your the boss... but if you feel a change or anything...."
"yeah, I'll get myself to the emergency room..."
she smiled at me, but rolled her eye's. There was a little tension between us, after a long pause she spoke " I didn't think you cared?"
"why because of our spat earlier?"
"well yeah, you pretty much told me there was no hope other than friendship..."
"and aint friendship special?"
"Not when you feel used, like I do... "
"why, because we kissed and made love, didn't you like it?"
"no, its because we made love, then you turn cold, you made me feel cheap, like a hooker that had come back wanting more...."
"Oh baby, I'm sorry, that was the last thing I wanted you to feel ever..."
she looked at me, and I could see the pain behind her eye's... " well you failed"
I couldn't answer, and I didn't want to say the S word again, so I tried changing the subject... "how bout coffee?"
she shook her head, "ok" we walked to the kitchen in silence, in the kitchen and with the coffee pot on, my hands resting on the counter top with my back facing Madison. I took a deep breath and turned to speak.
"thank you for what you did tonight, you know, if you hadn't have stepped up like that, god knows where that could have ended"
she looked at me and chewed her lip as she answered, "your welcome, but I did it as pay back for me..." she laughed nervously.
I walked over to her, "hey, what's with the nerves, am I making you feel that bad?"
She shook her head, "I don't know what to say anymore..."
"what can I do to make you feel better, can we forget earlier?"
"in favour of what? you cant take away your regret?"
"I'm not regretting what we did, I never will."
"but?"
"there is no but... " I held her arms, she held her head low, lifting her chin, "look at me please?"
stroking her cheek, I held her gaze, as she held mine. I swallowed deeply as I spoke,
"Mads, I will never regret ever what we did together, you are beautiful and gorgeous, and I loved every second we was making love...."
she interrupted " but your married..."
looking sheepish I shook my head as I answered, "well yeah..."
"but you never gave your wife and family one thought while we were together, what I'm struggling with is, when and why that all changed, you were even talking about going your own ways?"
"Madison, I'm screwed up right now, the last few months have been hell, and no it's no excuse, and in my heart, I do want to go my own way, D and I have not been a real couple in years, since our youngest was born. D has her life, and I have my career... I don't know when or how, but our lives have gone in different paths, and I guess the corny ol cliché were together for the kids is the truth..."
I was on a role and while Madison was listen I carried on.
"when this crap started with Antonia, I would have told you one hundred percent, there was no other women for me, ever, D was my soul mate... but as the accusations started, I saw D in a new light, it seems she hates my job and has been unhappy with me for years, hell she even took an opportunity to use another shadow that said I had fathered her child to try to blackmail me to give up... I think at that point I really knew, it was the beginning of the end for us... although I still tried telling myself I loved her.... but..."
I took Madison's hands in mine and we sat together, " I do love D, but not in a lover kind of way, she has given me four gorgeous children, and that can never change, and I have to figure it out how best to sort this... and while I'm going though this, I can't be involved with some one else.... I can't be involved with you.."
She listened the whole time and never interrupted, now her eye's were soft and her voice full of emotion, "Ok, I get it, but I have one question..."
"Sure shoot... "
"are you saying that maybe there could be an us?, or are you telling me all this cause you think it is letting me down gently and is what I want to hear?"
"I'm telling you it because its the truth, and yeah one day I would like a try at us, but I cant tell you how long that will be, and I have no right to ask you to wait..."
she squeezed my hand, "but Jon, I would wait.... I love being in your company, your a great guy, someone I relate too, I fell like your my soul mate... so you don't have to ask, I will wait..."
I smiled at her and gently kissed her forehead, "now the only other person I need to sort out is" "my mom" Madison said mom at the same time which made us both laugh.
"well I'll leave your mom to you... she seems feisty..."
"mm she is, used to be a marine..."
"wow, a marine? what about your pop?"
"he was a marine too, that's how they met, two kindred spirits... that's why this aint gonna be easy, my ma believes when you marry its for life...."
Madison, rasied her eyebrows and rubbed her hands on her thighs, as she said " alrighty then, see you in ten years time..." she got up from the chair and stood looking at me, "well I best get gone.. got an early shift tomorrow... I'll get another nurse assigned for your meals and I guess I'll see you whenever?"
I stood next to her, "no don't re assign me another nurse, I want you still to call and cook my meals, I still want to see you?"
"but your mom, she will have a fritz to see me still here..."
I held her hands as I spoke, "just leave my mom to me ok?... now promise me I'll see you again tomorrow?"
she shook her head... "ok, I'll see you tomorrow..."
I did suggest they throw away the key this time, but the cops failed to see the humour in it, one of them even suggested I stick to what I'm good at... singing... the nerve eh?, I suppose having a reserved character, humour is not always a given, anyways after the cops left, I was again, alone with Madison.
I looked at her bruises and cuts, "you know you should have agreed for the medics to check you over, those bruises are pretty bad..." I was looking at the one on her leg, which was a deep black and purple colour.
"Jon, are you serious, I'm a trained medical professional, and I've got my dad..."
"Oh, right, so you can just treat yourself huh?"
"stop teasing, no not everything, but I can treat myself, when I know what I'm looking at and for, and how I'm feeling, and apart from being a little sore, I am fine honestly..."
"Ok, your the boss... but if you feel a change or anything...."
"yeah, I'll get myself to the emergency room..."
she smiled at me, but rolled her eye's. There was a little tension between us, after a long pause she spoke " I didn't think you cared?"
"why because of our spat earlier?"
"well yeah, you pretty much told me there was no hope other than friendship..."
"and aint friendship special?"
"Not when you feel used, like I do... "
"why, because we kissed and made love, didn't you like it?"
"no, its because we made love, then you turn cold, you made me feel cheap, like a hooker that had come back wanting more...."
"Oh baby, I'm sorry, that was the last thing I wanted you to feel ever..."
she looked at me, and I could see the pain behind her eye's... " well you failed"
I couldn't answer, and I didn't want to say the S word again, so I tried changing the subject... "how bout coffee?"
she shook her head, "ok" we walked to the kitchen in silence, in the kitchen and with the coffee pot on, my hands resting on the counter top with my back facing Madison. I took a deep breath and turned to speak.
"thank you for what you did tonight, you know, if you hadn't have stepped up like that, god knows where that could have ended"
she looked at me and chewed her lip as she answered, "your welcome, but I did it as pay back for me..." she laughed nervously.
I walked over to her, "hey, what's with the nerves, am I making you feel that bad?"
She shook her head, "I don't know what to say anymore..."
"what can I do to make you feel better, can we forget earlier?"
"in favour of what? you cant take away your regret?"
"I'm not regretting what we did, I never will."
"but?"
"there is no but... " I held her arms, she held her head low, lifting her chin, "look at me please?"
stroking her cheek, I held her gaze, as she held mine. I swallowed deeply as I spoke,
"Mads, I will never regret ever what we did together, you are beautiful and gorgeous, and I loved every second we was making love...."
she interrupted " but your married..."
looking sheepish I shook my head as I answered, "well yeah..."
"but you never gave your wife and family one thought while we were together, what I'm struggling with is, when and why that all changed, you were even talking about going your own ways?"
"Madison, I'm screwed up right now, the last few months have been hell, and no it's no excuse, and in my heart, I do want to go my own way, D and I have not been a real couple in years, since our youngest was born. D has her life, and I have my career... I don't know when or how, but our lives have gone in different paths, and I guess the corny ol cliché were together for the kids is the truth..."
I was on a role and while Madison was listen I carried on.
"when this crap started with Antonia, I would have told you one hundred percent, there was no other women for me, ever, D was my soul mate... but as the accusations started, I saw D in a new light, it seems she hates my job and has been unhappy with me for years, hell she even took an opportunity to use another shadow that said I had fathered her child to try to blackmail me to give up... I think at that point I really knew, it was the beginning of the end for us... although I still tried telling myself I loved her.... but..."
I took Madison's hands in mine and we sat together, " I do love D, but not in a lover kind of way, she has given me four gorgeous children, and that can never change, and I have to figure it out how best to sort this... and while I'm going though this, I can't be involved with some one else.... I can't be involved with you.."
She listened the whole time and never interrupted, now her eye's were soft and her voice full of emotion, "Ok, I get it, but I have one question..."
"Sure shoot... "
"are you saying that maybe there could be an us?, or are you telling me all this cause you think it is letting me down gently and is what I want to hear?"
"I'm telling you it because its the truth, and yeah one day I would like a try at us, but I cant tell you how long that will be, and I have no right to ask you to wait..."
she squeezed my hand, "but Jon, I would wait.... I love being in your company, your a great guy, someone I relate too, I fell like your my soul mate... so you don't have to ask, I will wait..."
I smiled at her and gently kissed her forehead, "now the only other person I need to sort out is" "my mom" Madison said mom at the same time which made us both laugh.
"well I'll leave your mom to you... she seems feisty..."
"mm she is, used to be a marine..."
"wow, a marine? what about your pop?"
"he was a marine too, that's how they met, two kindred spirits... that's why this aint gonna be easy, my ma believes when you marry its for life...."
Madison, rasied her eyebrows and rubbed her hands on her thighs, as she said " alrighty then, see you in ten years time..." she got up from the chair and stood looking at me, "well I best get gone.. got an early shift tomorrow... I'll get another nurse assigned for your meals and I guess I'll see you whenever?"
I stood next to her, "no don't re assign me another nurse, I want you still to call and cook my meals, I still want to see you?"
"but your mom, she will have a fritz to see me still here..."
I held her hands as I spoke, "just leave my mom to me ok?... now promise me I'll see you again tomorrow?"
she shook her head... "ok, I'll see you tomorrow..."
Glad Jon and Madison made up. They belong together. Time for Jon to talk to Dorothea about their so called marriage.
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