Chapter Fifty Eight

Rich agreed to help me go find Maddy,  he was finishing up with his project and coming over. While I waited I rang maddys phone again....
Still the answer phone.
God damn it all to hell when would I learn to keep my mouth shut. I paced in the sitting room until my legs ached, as I sat like an empty sack into the arm chair,  maddys pop's business card was staring right at me. Picking it up I played with it in my fingers as I toyed with calling him to see if she was there. My fear was; if she had gone to her pops would she have told him? either way and no matter if he blasted me out I had to know. I dialled the number, holding the cell to my ear the call connected and rang out. " hello" success my call was answered, I decided to keep the call light, "hey doc it's jon is Madison with you?"
There was a pause before he replied. " hi jon, erm, no she's not, she did call a couple of hours ago to say you were going on a short break. And that she'd see me in a few days, is everything OK? "
How could I tell him no, I remained quiet for a second which made her pop ask, " Jon you still there?"
" Yeah I'm still here," I told the truth, but tamed it down a little. " Yeah we just had a little spat and she took off, I was hoping she'd come to yours."

there was a pause before he spoke, "What kind of spat?"

I tried playing it down, "nothing major just a spat," I even laughed to try to ease the now growing tension and concern in her dad's voice. "So what was it about?"

"oh something and nothing... so have you any idea where she'd go?"

he ignored my question, "if its something and nothing, and just a spat as you keep telling me, why has my daughter took off and you are anxiously trying to find her?"

I was feeling edgy, and wished I'd not rang his number, I was getting nowhere and now her dad was onto me... how the hell could I let him know how bad I had hurt his daughter.... I couldn't, lying did not sit well with me, so I gave a very tamed down run through of the event.

"Sir, I got checked out at the hospital, as you advised, and it was as we came out Maddy asked me if I was gonna rest as instructed. Because I told her I was going back to work in four days, things got real heated and things were said in that moment, which have obviously hurt her and she took off. I admit it was wrong and that ' why I'm looking for her."

Any idea's that what I'd said had cut any dice with him was as far from the truth as you could get.

I was met with a disconcerted "Mmmm I see"  at that moment I felt like a school boy before the head teacher facing detention for acting out in class.

There was a silence and I took advantage and spoke, "well thank you sir, I'm sure Ill find her and we can sort it all out, forgive me for the call concerning you." I cut the call quick before he had any chance to reply. I felt even more guilty now. I sat looking at the phone in my hands, when the door chime went.

I went and answered the door and let Rich in. "Right so what's gone down this time bro?"

I looked at him, "Hey don't judge me till you've heard me out ok?"

"Sure, but for you to call me, and I quote, Madison's missing, Rich, I've been a real jerk and upset her, what the fuck am I suppose to think eh? the one thing I know about you Jon, your temper is out there when you blow, so yeah I'm pre judging you, cause for someone to leave it must have been bad...am I right?"

 I had my arms folded across my chest, as I looked at him, I shook my head... "it's more than a blow up this time, its a fucking nuclear explosion... and  I don't know why I did it..."

"So what did you say?"

I ran through the story, and then told him the blow out I'd had and how she got upset and took off, then I get home to find she has taken her clothes too. "Rich, I really love her, but what am I to do?"

"right I know you've rang her, but have you left a heart felt apology on the phone for her, after that blow out bud, you have some serious fucking grovelling to do... and maybe if your lucky she will forgive you and come back."

"Don't wanna leave some sloppy ass message on her cell Rich, I wanna find her and apologise in person, holding her in my arms..."

Rich stood listening, "Yeah great sentiment pal, but just one thing,"

" yeah?"

"You don't know where the fuck she is, so that aint gonna work."

"well der, thanks for pointing out the obvious, but you know what I'm saying right?"

he shook his head. "where would she go? she must have told you about places she goes to unwind after a shite day right?"

"No, she just goes..." then it hit me, Rich, I think I know where she is..."

"Where,"

"get your keys your driving I'll tell you on the way?"

I ran to the door, and stopped as I felt dizzy, walking out the door to the car, I got in. Rich got in beside me, "care to share, or have I gotta mind read where I'm going?"

"ha ha funny, not... just drive I'll direct you."

He started the engine and out on the highway I directed him to the marina. As we pulled up, I asked him to wait as I started down the dock to the harboured boats sitting by the quay.

I counted out to the tenth boat and my spirits lifted to see the lights on inside.  I stepped over and boarded the boat and knocked on the door. I could hear someone inside, and then the door opened there was maddy.

Her eye's were puffy  and red from crying, another guilt bolt flew through me, then she spoke, "What the hell do you want?"

"you, can I come inside, we need to talk..."

she stood looking at me, but then stood aside to let me pass.  as I walked inside I mumbled " I'm sorry."

coldly she answered, "fine, that's great, you've apologised that it?"  

I moved towards her to try and hold her. but she dipped my arms and moved further inside the boat, "what, you think a simple sorry will cut it?, my only crime was caring for you Jon, after all you've been though I'm the only one that has stood by you, and you repay me with, "I don't need a nurse maid" your some piece of work and a total fuck ass... and for the record its gonna take a whole lot more than fucking sorry"

I tried again and moved in closer, this time as the tears fell she let me embrace her and hold her. "I know I'm a total jackass, and I'm really sorry, more than you will ever know, and if you'll let me, Ill take the rest of my life proving how much I love you and making it up to you? if you let me..." 

teary eye's looked up at me as I held her close, sniffing she asked, "are you saying what I think your saying?"

"well I don't know, what do you think I'm saying?"

"you know?"

"what?"

"the rest of your life bit?"

"yeah, what of it? "

her green eye's fixed on me, " but you told me you didn't need me, I was hurt, hurt real bad... you know you don't say thing like that unless you want to end it with someone, so, thinking that what you meant, I went home and  packed and took my stuff and came here. why did you day those things to me?"

"cause I'm a jackass, we have already covered that one aint we?, I say lots of things in the heat of the moment, it's my moms fault, and my pop's, I've inherited the Italian temper.... no excuse for what I've done, but if I promise, when my temper rises like that again you can punch me in the mouth, will you give me a second chance?"