At the hospital, it was swift and it was confirmed no real damage just severe concussion and I was given orders to rest for a few days. Thing was all I had done since my stay in hospital was rest, I was heading back on on tour in a few days and I had lots to organise. Rest was the last thing on my mind.
As we left the hospital, Madison was holding on to my arm to steady me and studying my face. I felt like I was an old man, and was about to ask her to let go as she looked at me and started in.
"your not going to rest are you?"
I tried bluffing... but it came out as ancy "What ya mean?, were just outta the hospital and your starting in?, where's this come from?"
She stopped shaking her head, "Damn I'm right aint I?, I've only been with you a short time but already I know when you get ancy your avoiding the question..."
I stopped too just ahead, my arm still connected with her arm. I turned back to look at her as I answered, "Madison, you have to understand, its my job... its what I do.... I have staff relying on me...."
She interrupted, "yeah and you said they were being paid anyway so what's the biggie? "
"yeah they are, but I'm not Midas, I'm paying them out of my pocket not the profit from the tour... I've been off for over two months... I need... no have to get back to what I do..."
still she argued...
"even if it's against Dr's advice?"
I was feeling pissed at her, partly because her common sense was to close for home, and making sense, and because she was coming across as clingy and I hated that.... I snapped,
"Madison, enough, ok?, I'm going back to work in four days. Period, its not open for discussion." I pulled my arm free of her grip and walked off at a fast pace looking for the car, I walked faster than I realised , my breathing increased enough to leave me feeling a little light headed, and even more frustrated as it dawned on me, we had no transport cause I was brought in by ambulance.
As Madison caught up to me, she was just in time to here me cuss. "Fuck"
"you want me to go?, I was only thinking of you, and what's with the attitude huh? bit unfair don't ya think?"
I looked at her face, which was full of concern, my jaw clenched tight, I tried to answer her with out sounding cold and fact like, but I was in boss mode and it came out wrong.
"Yeah I get that," I paused before I carried on and the one thing I wanted to avoid saying I went and said anyway... " but I don't need a fucking nurse maid,Maddy, I'm a grown man, fully capable of making my own decisions, and for fifty two years, I think I've done pretty fucking well... so far, I've had slips, like everyone, but the day I roll over to a bump on the head is the day I give it all up and stop living. " my venom on a roll i cpntinued, "I'm telling you straight, so you know where I'm coming from, and let me just finish... I don't take orders from no one... you got that, no one...period"
tears sprung to her eye's as she spoke " I'm sorry I care jon, shame on me for loving you, maybe, I should leave you alone? " I said nothing and watched as she ran off in the direction of the elevators. I wanted to go after her, but my male arrogant pride would not let me, and still clenching my jaw I stood by the wall over looking the city, with no plans on what I was gonna do next.
I stood looking at the traffic below, people going about their business, living their own lives.... then I thought about the spat I'd had with Madison, as my temper cooled, a pang of guilt flooded through me. what had I done.
Head still pounding an urgency flooded through my veins as i ran back to the elevators and caught it down to the lower level, out on the sidewalk, I looked left and right to see if Madison was anywhere in sight, I was praying she was gonna be waiting for me. I was disappointed. She was gone. I walked out round the corner and looked again, but she had disappeared . I re traced my steps just in case, but I had to face facts, I'd hurt her and she'd done as she said and left me alone.
Back out on the main sidewalk I hailed a cab to take me home, I was hoping that's where Madison would be. I tired my cell, to reach her, but each time I called her number it clicked to answer phone. On the tenth attempt I was compelled and left her a message, "Maddy, I'm sorry, please call me..." as I ended the call I sat holding the phone, praying she call, but the phone was silent for the remaining journey back home.
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As the cab pulled to a stop on my drive, I paid the fare, I got out and headed inside, opening the door the first thing I did was call out for Madison.
The house was empty and felt cold as i moved from room to room calling out her name.
I looked at my phone again,checking for a missed call, but there was none. Next i tried the grounds hoping to find her somewhere, but I drew a blank. I stood by the back door when a
a thought crossed my mind and I ran back inside and straight up to the bedroom, I opened the closet, and felt a huge pang of emptiness and an icy grip filled my heart, as her few clothes that were hung there were now gone.
Sitting back on bed, I just hung my head, remorseful of what I'd done.
The best thing to come into my life in I don't know how long and I'd destroyed it with my famous Bongiovi outburst... for the second time that day I cussed to myself again for being a real jack ass. I had to find her, I had to make it right, and to do that I needed help. Holding my cell to my ear I waited as the call was answered at the other end.... "yo, what's up Bro? "
" hey, rich, listen I need you to do something for me...."
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