Chapter Eighty Five

Antonia started to regain consciousness while the cops did there job and she was swiftly taken away.
I wanted to believe it was now near over, but the elephant in the room and the deafening silence told me otherwise.
I looked at Dot who was stood staring first at Madison then at me.
"Don't I get a thank you? Well done, or something? I've just saved both your asses"
Lamely I thanked her, but I could not say in all honesty her act of kindness didn't have a condition attached to it. So I asked,
" yeah, strange that, great speech by the way before you left, and thanks but what do you want out of it? You never do anything without some kinda angle for you? So what gives?"
She shrugged her shoulders and stepped further into the room, " I guess what I've always wanted Jon, my home, my husband, my kids.... us back together as a family"
I could not believe what I was hearing,
"You what?, you really suck D, you know that? You made your intentions real clear the night I called to see you and told you bout Antonia, remember, early hours? You made me feel like shit on top of that you laid on me some letter and a kid."
"Yeah, but I was hurting."
"Yeah right, and I wasn't? like I was having a god damn fuck off party?"
"I never said that"
I spat back... " no but you fucking well implied it."
Instead of fighting me, she changed her attack to calm and gentle. Something I'd seen rarely during our marriage, a time when she knew she was losing so pulled out the big guns. I didn't start in straight away I needed to see where this was heading. 

She moved in close to me, and drawing her finger along my shoulder she started, "But baby, What was I spose to think huh?, you come to me early hours of the morning with a tale about some stalker, I received the letter only a short time since, the odds were completely stacked against you?"

I moved away from D, and sided up next to Madison, her eye's were less glazed and she seemed more in control than before. She just stood next to me and said nothing the whole time D was spouting...

I shook my head with a wry smile covering my lips.

"you know, it was bad enough having to drive over that night to see you and tell you about the nightmare I was going through, the whole time all I wanted was to keep you safe, but deep down I wanted you to have hugged me and told me don't worry it 'll all be ok. "

she tried to interrupt, I halted her with my hand and spoke louder so she had to listen... " you just didn't trust me, and yeah you hurt me. The person I thought cared about me and loved me, turned against me. the first thing you did was pack up the car with the kids and run off back to your ma and pa, you left me alone....."

Tears filled her eye's, crocodile tears... " Oh stop D, fake tears hold nothing to me, you know I'm stood here now, and we have spent a lifetime together, but I really don't know you at all.... and that is what scares me..."

Sobbing now she spoke, "but I love you, isn't that worth fighting for? we had a great sex life..."

"No what we had died a long, long time ago, way before all this started, I was just to blind to see,"

she stammered, "but our sex life..."

I interrupted, "was non existent, jeeze, you were so cold most times it was like trying to seduce a fucking ice cube..."

"no you just came home and expected me to open my legs for you.." the venom had returned, the old D was coming back...

"No, I never, all's I wanted was a hug, a kiss and maybe you to instigate making love to me cause you had missed me?,  but that never happened did it? .... so do us both a favour already and lay off the drama, its over Dot,  just let me go? ok?"

"what so you can spend your life with this...this.... this...."

"Careful D, don't fucking go there not now...,"

"Or what?"

"Don't push me, I'm begging you?"

"Why truth hurt?"

"Truth what the fuck you know about truth huh?"

"Well I know infidelity when its stood in front of me, that's for sure?"

  "Yeah course you do,  next you'll tell me, your not screwing anyone right now?"

"there was a danger in my tone, but she paid no attention.

"that's right Mr smarty pants, cause I'm not..."

"Right, so when you leave here your not going to see your guy?"

"What guy? stop playing fucking games Jon.. this is about you and me..?"

"Is it? really?  I don't fucking think so, ,,,, no what, I'm one hundred percent sure, soon as you can, your gonna go back to fucking Justin, or whoever is your flavour of the month right now... so  do us a favour and just stop the guilt trip..."

she looked shocked I knew about her infidelity, "You know about that?"

"well it don't take a scientist to figure that when your wife don't want your cock she's getting somewhere."

"but how you know his name?"

"our kids Dot, OUR FUCKING KIDS...." I took a step back and exhaled and took another breath in before continuing,

"You flaunt your bow in front of the kids, they talk D and they let me know, here's a fact for you, Did you know that your daughter saw you in the oat house making out with him?,"

she hung her head and answered in a quiet voice, "No I didn't, when did she tell you?"

"It don't fucking matter when, does it, fact is I know, the kids know, and all this?" I threw my arms wide, is nothing, our lives have been nothing, and I tired of everything, the bullshit, the lies, the stress..... "

"and your kids?"

"No not my kids, they are the reason I've carried on the marriage, just for them, but I've spoken to them and they are happy for me to start a fresh with someone new... they know how you have abused me... "

"how the fuck have I abused you?"

"Oh please, lets just finish it here, ok, I'm tired, real tired and I just can't be fucked to answer anymore of your lies and self justification." I turned to walk away, and made the mistake of taking my eye's off D, the next I remember was Madison screaming my name Jon, as I hit the floor.