Chapter twenty two

"Dot?, hey, what a surprise, come in."  Rich squeezed past, " right that's me then, nodding his head at Dot he continued, I'll see you at sound check then ok?"
"Yeah fine, and thanks again Rich?" he saluted and smiled as he walked away.  
Dot  still stood in the hall way,  finally she stepped into the room and spoke, much softer than all of our other calls and talks "not interrupting anything was I?, band talk for instance?"
"No, it's fine, Rich, was leaving as you arrived, he just brought my stuff over from the Ritz."
"Guess you are wandering why I'm here right"
"umm thought has crossed my mind."
"well, after your call, I spoke with Richie did he tell you?"
"Yeah he mentioned he had spoke with you, look do you at least want to sit?" she nodded and walked over to the sofa as I closed the door.
"Can I get you a drink?"
"just coffee for me, I have a class in the morning, a group of ten year olds, and if I'm not on the ball they will rip me to pieces." she laughed nervously, there was an atmosphere and it was getting more tense by the second.
"Erm, well I guess I had better tell you what I know then huh?"
I was confused, and repeated her sentence, "What do you mean tell me what you know?" I poured her coffee into a cup and took it across and handed it to Dot as I sat next to her.
"I'm confused"
Dot put her cup on the table and turned to face me.
"Thing is Jon, I have been getting letters and messages on the phone for months, all telling me of your infidelity, yeah I know I've heard crap before, but this time its been different.... I-I- don't know why, I can't put my finger on it, but this time it hurt so bad, then the press... and well it brings it full circle to being here now... do you get it?"
I was at a total loss, no understanding whatsoever, I had to get Dot to explain it all to me and from the beginning.
"Dot, hold up.... I'm lost and confused in all this.... can you tell me everything and from the beginning please... I'm trying hard to get what your telling me, but I have no idea what you are speaking about"

She looked at me, tears filled her eye's and began to creep to the edge of her lids making her eye's glisten in the light, slowly the tears trickled over and down her cheeks. She tried hard to control her emotions and keep herself in check, but as her bottom lip quavered she broke out in sobs, made worst by her trying to explain everything in between, which just made even less sense than before.

I wanted to console her, after all she was my wife and I loved her with every bit of my being and body, tentatively I put my arms around her and drew her toward me and gently kissed her eye's and head, while stroking her arms and shoulders and back.

She let me and slowly we relaxed with each other staying in each other embrace for over and hour, until at last her sobs slowed and her breathing had all but returned to normal. I looked down at her tear stained face, and her weepy eyes looked up at me,
"I'm sorry"
"Sorry for what?"
"For breaking down, for not believing you, for accusing you and believing lies.. I'm sorry for everything... "
"Stop, ok?"
"But I am... really I am"
"Look, lets leave it ok?, can we just move on from this?"
"we can Jon, there's nothing I want more, but I have done you wrong."
"what?, what are you saying?"
"I'm saying I want you to forgive me for wrongly judging you?"
 "hey, hang on here, are you saying you now believe me?"
"sort of"
the tension started to return to the room, and I was starting to feel uncomfortable, and my temper was starting to rise.
"No c'mon you either do or don't, what other doubts can you have?"

I let go of my hold on Dot and got up off the sofa, and walked back over to the mini bar and got a shot of vodka as Rich and I had drank all the whiskey,  opening the shot bottle I drank.

Dot got up off the sofa too and had joined me, walking into my space.

"Well the evidence has been pretty compelling right? if the shoe were on the other foot you would do the same right?"
"No Dot, I wouldn't, no why?, cause I trust you, simple as that. what you fail to realise is that I am a victim here and someone is using every devious skill they have to kill my marriage with you and cause me pain, and why I have no idea, but instead of trusting me, you condemn me without even listening to me, you have given me no support, so yeah maybe you do need to apologise to me eh, for being a down right bitch..." I knocked back the rest of vodka, and gave Dot the stink eye waiting on her reply.
She moved back away from me, "that's right you just twist it Jon... same ol same old eh?"
"What?, what's that suppose to mean?"
"like you don't know"
"Dot, I'm not in the mood for games, ok?, I'm tired, I'm drained and worn out from it all, I've still got a tour to do too, so will you please just tell me what all this is about and tell me what is going round your freaking head, for the love of god. just help me out here will ya?"
I looked up to the ceiling as if the almighty would give me the answers I needed to make sense of all this shit. He didn't.
"this was a bad idea, I should not have come, I'm sorry Jon I'll go..."
"So your walking out on me again?, why do you do that eh?, do you hate me so much now? do you think I am enjoying all of this Dot, well do ya?"
"I don't know what to think Jon, your confused how do you think I feel?"
"well that's just it, I don't no cause you won't fucking tell me."
Dot spun round on her heels and came back over to me, standing inches from my face she spat."
"I'm tired of the shit and living alone Jon, while you go off and be Mr fucking Rockstar, it's time you jacked it in, and finally realised you have children and a family and most importantly you have a wife.."
the crying started again and she turned away.
I just stood totally shocked and dumbfounded by her outburst.
"Hey, are you telling me that you set this up?, just so you could stop me playing in the band? Dot look at me please?"
She stood with her back to me and said nothing....